Comparing Inquiries

Sample Essay #2 and #11

Sample essay #2 investigates the potential controversy regarding aspartame. I enjoyed the essay for the most part, mainly due to the human element present though out the paper. The author introduces herself as a diabetic and frequent user of the product. The outcome of aspartame is very near and dear to her. She also creates a sense of urgency as she relays the idea of most of the population consuming the chemical. Additionally, she tells of the potential it has as a carcinogenic chemical. While she states that it may be harmful, she equally supports the side that it may not be toxic, creating a well balanced and non-bias view. I would have to say, that while her informal language is ok, it is way to informal for this serious of a topic. She could still incorporate her own personal story while getting rid of all of the contractions and slang which affect the authors ethos. Also, at times, especially in paragraph two, the inquiry starts to sound much like a rant. There are too many explanation points and they begin to loose impact. She says the same think about 10 different times about how bad this could affect her. That's nice but move on, answer the question "so what", and go a different direction. Personally, I lost interest in these sections where she said the same thing again and again.

On the other hand, the essay about urinal etiquette was hilarious, informing, and engaging. While I don not really have anything negitive to say, in contrast to essay #2, this topic is much more appropriate for the informal language used. While being informal though, the topic is much heavily researched: observation, practical application, personal experience, and analyzing other studies. Because of all of this information and well versed argument, the author keeps the ethos needed to seriously argue his point. At no point was I bored, and I think this was because of the conversation and instructive like tone. It is relateable, for men at least. I enjoyed how the author explored all possible sides he felt could answer the question and was not afraid to dismiss a possible answer after investigating it. Overall, excellent paper and well researched topic!